Better Living Through Literature
Words + Projects + Stuff I Like
“I just want to sew.”
“I just want to sew things correctly.“
“I just want to not exhaust myself and everyone I love with my emotions.”
“I just want to watch MST3K.”
“I just want to be a lizard on a rock.”
“I just want to play bocce while drinking something with gin and, like, rose petals in it.”
“I just want to listen to disco.”
“I just want to join a choir that only teaches 70s-style close vocal harmonies.”
“I just want everything to go back to like it was.”
“I just want some champagne.”
I was so proud I was going to have Doc’s anniversary shirt done within two months of our anniversary, not six. I found some beautiful, light, textured Japanese plaid from Miss Matatabi. I cut the pockets twice so they’d be a perfect match. I sewed in a “Handmade” tag at the neck I got from Kylie & The Machine. I was going to review the pattern (Fairfield Button Up by Thread Theory) and compare it to the normal McCalls I normally use for him (in short: more beginner friendly but unnecessarily fiddly in spots).
Well, I need to add “runs really small” to that review because it’s done and it’s TOO DAMN SMALL FOR HIM:
With his arms at his side you can’t really tell how “painted-on” it looks, but it’s too tight for comfort and the buttons are straining across the chest.
I don’t know what happened–I took his measurements, looked at the finished garment measurements, WROTE THEM ON THE PATTERN, and I guess decided he needed zero ease when I picked a size? (I cut a Large for him in this pattern. He wears a large in the McCalls. IT MADE SENSE AT THE TIME.)
***
So that was a big fail. And the whole time I was sewing Doc’s shirt, I was dreaming of when I could sew up another Wiksten Oversized Kimono Jacket for myself. I had some beautiful jacquard from Stonemountain and I couldn’t wait to work on it.
Well, I dove in Saturday and did pockets and shoulder seams, with tape to stabilize the jacquard and all the edges serged for a clean finish. I got the sleeves and side seams done last night–also taped, also serged–and realized: I SEWED THE FRONTS ON BACKWARDS:
That piece circled in red? Yeah, that should have met up with the sleeve. ASDFjk:#%^@*#
Reader, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. In both cases. Maybe I should just knit for a while?
We did, too, so we went out Sunday. It’s the one month a year here where the grass on the foothills is green so I’m glad we caught it.
It’s hard for me to head up to elevation in spring and fall, because it’s so much nicer in the valleys (plus there’s yard work to do). But that Nature Rx is real, y’all. I’m glad Doc reminded me.
1. I make to-do lists to help manage anxiety, but then when they get too long or I don’t check off as many items as I thought I would in a day, I get anxious about that. This system seems genius:
I tend to be very overwhelmed and demoralized by what I have to do, so I created a system where I have a list of things that require a lot of mental bandwith and a list of things I can do at the end of the day when my energy is depleted. There’s an easy column and a hard one. My daily goal, which is ridiculously low, is one item from each category. On most days I will do well more than [that], but I find it useful to set the bar really low in order to not get demoralized.
If it’s before lunch time and I’ve already done one from each column, then I find that motivating and get more done. But if I set a less achievable goal of 3-4 from each column, I’d halfway through the day realize that this wouldn’t happen and then it’s like “well, I broke my diet, so I might as well have two beers and chocolate cake” type of situation.
(From Rad Family, via Jocelyn Glei’s newsletter)
2. I’ve been on a 70s kick (more on that later) and these photos of NYC parks in the summer of 1978 are fantastic, even if the article gets a little excited in places. Scenes Unseen: The Summer of ’78
It’s my last weightlifting class tonight before I find a gym or a rec center to keep lifting on my own. Someone asked me the other day why I even got into it, and I garbled out an answer, “There’s a woman on Instagram and she writes a column?”
That doesn’t even do justice to the glory that is Swole Woman, though. I saw her Hairpin columns come through on The Toast back when The Toast was online (and the joy of my life) and I started reading them.
I had fallen off the consistent yoga wagon a few years ago. I tried Fitness Blender videos for a hot second, based on Sallie Oh’s recommendation. Then when she shifted to lifting, I thought, “Oh no that’s not for me.”
It’s a good thing Swole Woman set me straight. She makes lifting sound like the most obvious thing in the world…
“Aside from the general benefits of working out, I don’t think anyone’s ever been like, “ugh, I’m TOO strong, it’s TOO easy to bend down and pick this 40lb bag of cat litter up, TOO easy to carry all the groceries from the car in one trip, TOO easy to stand up from sitting on the floor. If only I struggled more!”
…while also giving solid advice on finding a trainer, dealing with a new gym, and staying motivated. She knows her shit, too: Every column has links to videos, training programs, forums to learn more about form and routines, and her Instagram shows her doing what she’s talking about. She even posts recipes!
And she’s so fierce. This is empowerment the way of Fury Road, not GOOP. (The opening of this column is one of my favorite things on the internet.)
She’s moved on to writing a monthly column for Self and is in the middle of a book proposal, which I am going to line up to buy.
So thanks, Swole Woman. My journey to swole started with you.
There’s a yearly “sewing challenge” (yes, that is a thing) on Instagram called “Me-Made May” that I’m participating in this year. The originator of the idea talks about it more here, but basically you challenge yourself to wear something you made every day. Some people go all-out and wear all “me-mades” every day; I set a goal to incorporate one handmade thing into every work outfit.
I’ve slowly been turning my Instagram into an all-sewing feed over the last couple years so I’ve seen this challenge before and thought, “I wish I could do that!” the first year and, “Maybe I could try that?” the second year. After being so productive last year (and finally learning to make pants) I decided this was the year to do it.
There’s currently about 14,000 photos with this year’s tag on Instagram; just that sheer number of handmade garments and people sharing them so proudly makes me happy. My own feed is here–my selfie game needs work and I feel a little ridiculous, but this year I’m going to be a joiner.
“We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.”
― Michael A. Singer
Via Swiss Miss, who says it’s “from The Untethered Soul, a book that is changing my life.” I’m not currently in the market for another life-changing book but it’s something to ponder.
(Cf: Mark Strand on existential housework.)
1. This article is both helpful and makes you want to smash things (the patriarchy), especially if you, like me, caved when pressed for past salary and didn’t think to inflate those numbers by 20%. How a Common Interview Question Fuels the Gender Pay Gap (and How to Stop It)
2. Remember when I was saying, “there has to be a German word for watching things again and again because they’re familiar?” There is and I already blogged about it:
Another poem about self-care and sandwiches! I didn’t think there would be two. Now I wonder how many are out there (“collect them all!”).
VI. Wisdom: The Voice of God
Ninety percent of what’s wrong with you
could be cured with a hot bath,
says God through the manhole covers,
but you want magic, to win
the lottery you never bought a ticket for.
(Tenderly, the monks chant,
embrace the suffering.) The voice never
panders, offers no five-year plan,
no long-term solution, no edicts from a cloudy
white beard hooked over ears.
It is small and fond and local. Don’t look for
your initials in the geese honking
overhead or to see through the glass even
darkly. It says the most obvious shit,
i.e. Put down that gun, you need a sandwich.
Mary Karr (2018)
