Eleven Years

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Eleven years ago yesterday I brought Toby home from a Petsmart adoption event. He’s been the constant in my life, between houses and jobs and relationships and sorrows, and as we both reach middle age together he’s both a given and a fresh joy every day.

Sometimes I look at him and don’t see Toby, the cat whose meows I know, but this wild creature who lives in my house and will let me pet him–and I’m overcome with wonder and gratitude that such an impossible thing could even happen. Who hasn’t dreamed of having a tame tiger ?

 

First year babyface with a pink nose

 

With the dignified nose freckles of middle age

 

Currently a Very Distinguished Gentleman with his floppy ear

Friday Links

By in Friday Unrelated Information No Comments

1. This was an interesting take–I’m vegetarian for animal welfare reasons, I try not to buy from companies with terrible labor practices, I avoid “fast fashion, etc. and I still worry about my choices (I mean, less so now that I’m working on managing my anxiety, but still). Having someone assert that “It’s impossible to lead a totally ethical life—but it’s fun to try” was a little freeing.

2. RIP, poet W.S. Merwin.

3. Via Kottke, every type of “hello” you’ll get on a hiking trail.

Five Years

By in feeeeeeeelings 2 Comments

Five years ago today I met Doc, he of the Steinbeckian nickname and ready puns.

For the longest time I thought a relationship was mostly like playing house: buying groceries, talking about our day, doing the cleaning and the errands. But Doc taught me that a real adult relationship should be about the interior, about two people who like each other learning to like each other more, learning to respect differences, learning to communicate the way the other needs it.

He’s been so caring during Mom’s sickness and after we entered the void of losing her. He gave me the push to start therapy, for which I will be forever grateful. He listens patiently while I describe all my workouts in great detail and he always admires the fabric I buy.

Here’s to another five years, honey. Happy anniversary.<3

Equinox

By in children's literature No Comments

We made it to another Vernal Equinox, the sun has been shining, bulbs are coming up, and when you come in from a walk you smell like outside.

There is, of course, a quote for that:

“You smell like flowers and – and fresh things,” he cried out, quite joyously. “What is it you smell of? It’s cool and warm and sweet all at the same time.”

(from The Secret Garden, when Mary comes in to see Colin after working in the garden for the morning.)

Tuesday Project Roundup: Beta Test Tights

By in sewing, Tuesday Project Roundup No Comments

My doubts about the longevity of the space tights were justified: I wore them to a second workout and the stitches holding the elastic to the inner waist all popped. So I decided to make one more trial pair before I cut into the good stuff.

Beta test results were mixed, but overall positive: This pair has survived three workouts and washes so far!

The positive:

  • This is a far more breathable fabric than the space print swim spandex (it’s from my local  JoAnn, labeled as a “microflex compression” and it’s really thick and smoothing).
  • The stitches holding the elastic to the inner waist didn’t pop because I used stretch thread in the bobbin of my regular sewing machine (thanks to this tip).
  • I made the version of the Super G tights with side POCKETS. My tights have POCKETS! That held my phone securely through glute bridges and back extensions!
  • This pattern seriously makes the most comfortable pair of tights I’ve worn. I am not a “lounge around in leggings” person because they are all too tight, but these Super Gs somehow stay up and don’t budge without making me feel like my pants have turned into a boa constrictor. I didn’t change immediately after Sunday’s workout and realized I was lounging around in leggings–in comfort!

The negative:

  • I still had issues with the three-needle flatlock seams coming out along the waistband. I was able to mend the popped stitches so they’re wearable but it looks a little chewed up, as you can see below. My shirt covers the most egregious mends so I’m still wearing this pair (because POCKETS)–but I’m switching to a four-thread flatlock for future pairs.

Side view with pocket (!). At the top, you can see the zigzag stitches attaching the elastic to the inner waistband. You can see the mend on the vertical waistband seam.

 

I’ve been thinking that I don’t need to make any more clothes to wear to the office, so being able to channel the sewing energy towards something functional is really great. I’m going to have the fanciest wardrobe of tights instead!

Sun At Last

By in Toby, weekend report No Comments

The sun was shining all weekend so instead of a hike in the mountains where we’d still need snow gear, we went to the botanical garden where we wore light jackets and saw flowers in bloom.

 

Toby did not join us for the outing but he enjoyed the sun nonetheless.


(Pet portraiture by Doc, of course. He takes all the good ones.)

Friday Links

By in children's literature, swole

1. I didn’t get a new max on bench on Tuesday, but last night was max effort on deadlifts (my favorite) and I broke my last record by 15 pounds–for 150 pounds! More than my body weight! Soon, I will deadlift a car.

2. I didn’t realize this but Heather Havrilesky, quoted yesterday, writes the Ask Polly advice column for The Cut. (Again, Austin Kleon clued me in, this time via his newsletter.) This week’s column was like one of my therapy sessions, i.e. very true to how my anxious brain gets worked up about something and how I get called out (gently) for thinking instead of feeling. (That is praise; you should read it.)

3. We got a lot of snow Wednesday; it’s already starting to melt and today is going to be over 50 degrees. It’s time to break out this quote from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe:

And now the snow was really melting in earnest and patches of green grass were beginning to appear in every direction…Every moment the patches of green grew bigger and the patches of snow grew smaller. Every moment more and more of the trees shook off their robes of snow. […]

“This is no thaw,” said the Dwarf [to the White Witch], suddenly stopping. “This is spring. What are we to do? Your winter has been destroyed, I tell you!”

 

Thursday Long Read

By in Uncategorized

I found this via Austin Kleon on Twitter and I was hooked after the first two paragraphs. “The Miracle of The Mundane“, from Heather Havrilesky’s essay collection What If This Were Enough?, has Mozart and connection and acceptance and is well worth your time. I had a hard time picking a pull quote, because the whole thing is so good.

Living simply today takes work. It takes work to overcome the noise that has accumulated in our heads, growing louder and more pervasive since we were young. It takes work to overcome the illusion that we will arrive at some end point where we will be better — more successful, adored, satisfied, relaxed, rich. It takes hard work to say, “This is how I am,” in a calm voice, without anxiously addressing how you should be. It takes work to shift your focus from the smudges on the window to the view outside.

[emphasis mine]

Also this:

We are called to resist viewing ourselves as consumers or as commodities. We are called to savor the process of our own slow, patient development, instead of suffering in an enervated, anxious state over our value and our popularity. We are called to view our actions as important, with or without consecration by forces beyond our control. We are called to plant these seeds in our world: to dare to tell every living soul that they already matter, that their seemingly mundane lives are a slowly unfolding mystery, that their small choices and acts of generosity are vitally important.

Griefcoaster

By in sad stories

I’d been doing better this week and last–the sun was shining, Toby’s ear was better, there was activewear fabric to buy–but yesterday morning, brushing my teeth, I was just overcome with grief over Mom. The last weeks were so horrible for her (and my dad); I relived all of it.

I pulled myself together to go to work. “That’s ok,” I thought. “You can take that pain and channel it at the gym and hit a new bench press weight.” But I couldn’t. I could barely make my old max and then it was another trip straight downhill on the griefcoaster.

There’s no getting off this ride; I know that. And from what I’ve read and been told, the suddenness of it is part of the deal. As for the gym, maybe it was overly optimistic to think I could max out just seven weeks after my mom died, I’d been eating mostly cookies, and was full of feelings.

I think this gif is going to be my new guide for the foreseeable future:

Just going about our lives is enough. Just keeping going, even when we’d rather get off the ride.

Tuesday Project Roundup: SPACE TIGHTS

By in sewing, Tuesday Project Roundup

Cue the Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With the Wind, because “as God is my witness, I will never pay for workout pants again.” Now I can MAKE them!

These are the Super G Tights from Greenstyle Creations and for this first trial pair, I made View A without pockets. The pattern itself is fantastic–easy to put together, with lots of inseam lengths marked and smart construction methods.

I’m still figuring out my faux flatlock stitch/stretch thread set up so I have some doubts about the longevity of this pair–but I did wear them for a workout and no seams popped open, so I’m calling it a win. (This article helped me figure out I had my lower looper tension wrong.) The fabric is a mystery “performance” tricot from JoAnn. For a trial pair, it was a fine fabric choice (and I love that print) but it doesn’t want to wick away much sweat.

But still: I MADE TIGHTS! I can make all the tights I want now, without sweatshop labor and without paying $80! Do I have three more cuts of fabric on their way to me for THREE MORE PAIRS? You know I do.

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