Category: love

Nine Years

Karen

I met Doc nine years ago today, at a friend’s birthday party at the fancy taco place. He made a pun about the fish of the day and the rest is history.

We don’t have a lot of pics together but this is one from the summer of 2014 and nothing makes you realize how much you’ve grown and endured together than looking at the unyielding passage of time:

Since that picture was taken we’ve dealt with my mental health, my mom died, we debated kids, there was a pandemic, we pooled our money, Toby got old, I started caring about politics (he always did), and so much more.

I always assumed being a couple was date nights and fun trips, but being partners is that and a lot of hard stuff, too. He makes it not feel hard, though, and there isn’t anyone else I’d rather do the fun or the hard things with. Happy anniversary, honey. I love you.

Happy Birthday to Matt

Karen

It’s my love’s 50th birthday today. Whenever I talk about him, it’s easy to make it all about me. He did, after all change my life–not just for being such a good partner, but for giving me the push I needed to get into therapy and onto medication. If he did nothing else ever, I’d be forever grateful.

But he does so much else, every day. He’s constantly checking in with his friends, our friends, work friends, family (including mine). He loves to learn things–anything, from history to how things are made to what actor made a cameo in that series. For him, I think it’s a way to connect even more with other people and appreciate how smart humans can be.

He is the fairest person I know, but he won’t tolerate cruelty. He holds himself to the highest standards of all, which can be tricky (I speak from experience) but he gives the people he cares about so much benefit of the doubt.

He’s the wokest bae, classically handsome, the literal strong and tall man of my dreams. Happy birthday, honey. I love you.

Friday Unrelated Information

Karen1 Comment

1. The weekly baking report: I made the French chocolate granola (awesome), the chocolate cookies (awesome and getting made again this weekend), the slow-rise bread that appeared in the NY Times about a year ago, and a light wheat sandwich bread. And today I’m making cheesecake for our Valentine’s Day dessert. It takes 4 packages of cream cheese. That’s two pounds. I guess love is being able to eat a pound of cream cheese with your sweetheart?

2. Speaking of Valentine’s Day, how about some Wilson Pickett to express our feelings?

I also like Elwood’s addition to the lyrics (which you can watch here):
“You know people when you do find that somebody hold that woman, hold that man. Love him, hold him, squeeze her, please her, hold her, squeeze and please that person, give ’em all your love. Signify your feelings with every gentle caress because it’s so important to have that special somebody to hold, kiss, miss, squeeze and please!”

3. Why yes, I have learned how to embed video. How could you tell?

"Privilege O f Being"

Karen3 Comments

Mr. Isbell has been out of town, and yesterday night I dreamed that instead of adopting Toby, I took him back to the shelter, realized my mistake, and went to get him again only to find out that he had been “donated” to the “University Cat Research Center”. (It was a dream, but it was very ominous.)

Of course I was so relieved to wake up and see Toby sitting on my chest, but I had to think of my friend Sean: When I told him I wanted to get a cat, he said, “That will just open up whole new ways for you to be miserable!”

I understand his point. While the dream was just a dream, there are so many ways to be afraid for something you love. People can “die young, fail at love, fail of their ambitions,” cats can get lost or sick–but you have to just accept that risk, because the happiness you get tempers the fear. (Sean disagrees, of course, but he also doesn’t care for pets.)

(Title and quotes from one of my favorite Robert Hass poems.)