This was exactly what I needed to read, as I wonder why things are SO HARD right now–am I overworked? is it spring malaise? the fall of the empire? Look at me trying to intellectualize my feelings! It doesn’t matter what the cause is; as the title tells us, “You’re Allowed to Feel like Garbage.”
It’s not disgraceful to be depressed. It’s not shameful to feel anxiety. These are tools your body uses to tell you that you are in danger. The clock tells the time, the weather app shows the likelihood of rain, and your body uses emotions to give you information.
And right now, Americans — especially queer and trans people and immigrants — are in danger. Depression, anxiety, rage — whatever — are entirely, one-hundred percent, certifiably appropriate responses to the current political situation.
But maybe what you’re feeling toward these feelings isn’t necessarily judgment, but a frustration with their nature.
These emotions in particular have a tendency to create a mental paralysis. The doom loop goes around and around, but circuitous thinking doesn’t have a natural off-ramp. Instead, this loop is where the hopelessness sets in, and the discomfort with the debilitating emotions themselves.
Then, the scary stimuli keep coming in, even when you don’t know how to deal with the information you’ve already received. You can try to harness different emotions — indignation, or something — but it doesn’t negate that anxiety and depression are already appropriate emotions.
Denying them their space in this experience will not let you escape their grasp. It is likely that nothing will release their hold on you short of the external circumstances taking a turn toward the impression of social safety and resilient systems. The project, instead, is to find a way to live with these emotions while finding an outlet for them.