Open any womens magazine and it will tell you that a classic wrap-style knit dress* magically flatters everyone. Since I’ve never been able to keep wrap dresses wrapped, I thought I could make a faux-wrap style and still be magically flattered.

I had a leopard print knit to use (since I can’t get enough leopard lately) and I was picturing a sassy little number. However, it’s not “meow!” so much as “meh.”

As it turns out, wrap–or even faux wrap–dresses work better on people with more normally-proportioned figures. (You gotta have something to wrap things AROUND, is what I’m saying). On me, I think the whole thing just kind of hangs and flaps from my bony shoulders–and this is after I tweaked the fit about four times to get it somewhat wearable.

It’s just not the style for me. Next time I’ll ignore the womens magazines and stick with my Twiggy dresses from the 60s.

*A true wrap dress is like a bathrobe: put it on, cross the fronts, tie the belt, and hope for the best. A faux wrap also has fabric crossed over the front, but it’s sewn down on the sides.