Reader, I’m about to talk at length about underwear. Because I finally made some, and they are the most comfortable underwear I’ve ever put on my butt.
The backstory: I finally got fitted for a bra a few years ago, which was as life changing as it promised. But comfortable undies eluded me–I bought matched sets of the bra brand I love and realized I hated their underwear. I read online roundups of the “best” panties. I took blogs’ advice about the most comfortable pair. I kept buying underwear but I just couldn’t find any that didn’t ultimately ride up, pull down, or dig in.
My other issue on my hunt for the Panty Grail was finding something sweatshop-free. I came across a brand called Thunderpants, sewn in the USA and essentially an adult Underoo, with cheeky (heh) prints and the promise of no elastic and no riding up.
I was ready to pull the trigger on a pair when I thought, “I wonder what kind of undie patterns are out there?” I found a forum on Sewing Pattern Review that pointed me to the Bunzies from Stitch Upon a Time, which were a dead ringer for the Thunderpants.
So I tried it–and about 20 minutes of sewing later, I had the most comfortable pair of panties in my life. I put them on and immediately cut out another pair. Eagle-eyed readers will see that I used scraps from two knit maxi dresses from 2015, along with an old t-shirt for the crotch (a tip from the forums).
I can’t tell you how delighted I am about these: They feel like a luxury because they’re so comfortable, yet I made them for nearly nothing, with items just sitting around the house! I have two more pairs ready to sew and another three in the works.
Yes, they are “big” underwear. But middle-aged me, the one who cares about being comfortable more than any vague idea about what the male gaze wants, gives no f*cks. Besides, no one ever talks about men’s underwear being “big and unsexy”. Men get to wear comfy underwear by default. Hell, men don’t even worry about Visible Panty Line (I asked Doc once if he did and he just looked stunned at the concept).
So here’s to making your own Underoos and having, finally, at age 38, a comfortable pair of panties.