My mom would have been 76 today. Spring is so hard without her: her birthday, Easter, knowing how much she’d gloat over every sunny day and new flower. At the same time, now I gloat over every sunny day and flower. I tried to make Easter special this year. And today I will celebrate spring flowers and maybe even take a trip to the mall (she loved a sale almost as much as flowers).
I think of this Cheryl Strayed essay so much now. Especially today:
Thirty years gone and my mother is always with me. Thirty years gone and I still ache for her every day. Thirty years gone and my sorrow has sweetened into gratitude. How lucky I am to have been her daughter. To still be. To feel her shimmering in my bones with every step.
…The kindest and most meaningful thing anyone ever says to me is: your mother would be proud of you. Finding a way in my grief to become the woman who my mother raised me to be is the most important way I have honored my mother.