Category: birthdays

My big brother is 48 today! I look back on previous birthday posts to make sure I get the ages right (easier than math) and it struck me how lucky I am that my brother is good people.

Last year I wrote he was “utterly convinced about right and wrong,” and only reading it this year did I realize that also describes me. Two siblings with Convictions could be a recipe for disaster, but he has a Harris/Walz yard sign. I remember how upset he got hearing about Matthew Shepard long ago. He’s never liked cops.

We fundamentally agree, because we’re fundamentally the same–same parents, same memories, same genetics. He remembers what made me spit my milk out at dinner 35 years ago, I remember what upset him in our 20s. There are jokes online about “the mortifying ordeal of being known” and let me tell you, that is a sibling relationship in a nutshell. I’m just thankful to be known by a good person, who loves me, whom I love. Happy birthday!

 

It’s my dad’s 77th birthday today! He probably doesn’t feel that lucky currently–he had his bank account info stolen and had to go through all that headache–but we are definitely lucky to have him in our lives. Who else would have every tool his kids need for any project? Who else would have taught me how to do tile? Who else would have inspired Skyler to join the Civil Air Patrol?

I usually skim through previous year’s birthday posts before I write a new one (mostly so I can get the number right) and over the last few years he’s dealt with eye surgery, cycling accidents, rebuilding his life after Mom…and he just “keeps on keeping on.” He always has.

I remember being so surprised in 2019 when he told me he was listening to First Aid Kit’s “My Silver Lining” (I shouldn’t have been; he’s always been in tune with pop culture). I didn’t know how he found it but I realized it was perfect for him:

Gotta keep on going,
Looking straight out on the road,
Can’t worry ’bout what’s behind you
Or what’s coming for you further up the road.
I try not to hold on to what is gone,
I try to do right what is wrong,
I try to keep on keeping on.

 

We’re all glad you’ve kept on keeping on for another year, Dad. Happy birthday!

My mom would have been 76 today. Spring is so hard without her: her birthday, Easter, knowing how much she’d gloat over every sunny day and new flower. At the same time, now I gloat over every sunny day and flower. I tried to make Easter special this year. And today I will celebrate spring flowers and maybe even take a trip to the mall (she loved a sale almost as much as flowers).

I think of this Cheryl Strayed essay so much now. Especially today:

Thirty years gone and my mother is always with me. Thirty years gone and I still ache for her every day. Thirty years gone and my sorrow has sweetened into gratitude. How lucky I am to have been her daughter. To still be. To feel her shimmering in my bones with every step.

…The kindest and most meaningful thing anyone ever says to me is: your mother would be proud of you. Finding a way in my grief to become the woman who my mother raised me to be is the most important way I have honored my mother.

It’s my birthday today! I don’t do involved lists of goals anymore, but I do set an intention. And this year I want to keep being a dilettante and reconnect even more with things that I loved as a kid: playing with paper and building LEGO sets, but also listening to music and concert-going and whatever else pops up. (I just discovered there’s a huge Breyer model horse community on Instagram, watch out.)

The point isn’t to be good at it, the point is to do it and delight in it. This illustration of  Sister Corita Kent rule (by Caitlin Keegan) sums it up:

SOMEONE has a birthday tomorrow and, while I know he hates to be the center of attention, I can’t not do a birthday post. (Uh, and presents. And cake. But at least I stopped trying to make a party happen!)

I’ve called him my rock before, but he’s really more like a buttress: He gives people support to help them grow on their own. I’ve seen him do it with coworkers and friends and family; definitely with me.

I’ve never met anyone as conscientiously caring, whether that takes the form of “buttressing” or recurring donations to causes he cares about or checking in daily with his social network or just showing up twice weekly at his parents’ house to help with what needs helping.

My time with him has made me a better person and I know his friends would agree. Happy birthday, honey. I love you!

My sister-in-law is 45 today! I know it’s a cliche, but I don’t know how she does it all. I was thinking about her during my busy weekend when I was baking and sewing and making jam and cleaning the house after a 40+ hour week. She does all that, too, plus mom stuff plus volunteering plus she’s going to school (again!).

All that busy-ness, though? It’s because she wants to make things better: for her family, by being able to earn more with another degree; for her community, by showing up to change things; for her friends and siblings by making herself available to help.

Lately I’ve been trying to let go of how I think things should be and just show up for the people I love, because the showing up is the point. Altair knows this and I’m trying to be more like her–busy and tired but showing up anyway, over and over and over.

Happy birthday, Altair! We love you.

It’s my big brother’s birthday today and he is 47?! How does this happen? How is it thirty years ago that we were watching MTV and MASH together?

Ever since I read that Heather Havriliesky essay about showing up for your loved ones, I’ve been thinking about how that translates to my family, how my brother and I used to hang out so much and how now our goals from any interaction can be so different (spoiler: my goals almost always are to talk feelings).

But what matters is showing up, and when I show up I see the human I was raised with, who knows 40 years of in jokes and exactly how I think. I see a good guy, utterly convinced about right and wrong, fascinated by the world, unflinching about the pain that’s part of the world, and able to do a really good impression of Beavis.

I see my brother, and I love him. Happy birthday, Alan!

 

Happy 76th birthday to the toughest cowboy I know, my dad. How tough is he?

He was hit by a car while riding his bike earlier this year and, from his landing spot on the ground, told the driver, “I’m OK, stop screaming!”

He keeps up the yard, keeps up the house, keeps himself fed, and just keeps going, even though it would all be so much easier with two people.

He endures my desire to talk about feelings at every opportunity, even though it’s often in direct conflict to his desire to only talk about Things That Are Good.

He’s the glue of the family and such an influence on me and my brother and Skyler. If I’m a craftsman, I learned from him. If I take pride in my non-hobby work–even though we need to throw the bosses off our back–I learned it from him. Hell, I learned all the union songs from him, too.

So happy birthday, Dad. We’re love you, we’re glad you’re alive, and remember:

 

My nephew is turning 12 on Sunday. Twelve! What a privilege to get to know this delightful person over the last 12 years. As you can tell from the pics, he loves to be outside. He loves water, too (that second pic is from last summer on our way to paddle board in the lake).

He’s so curious; every time we hang out I get asked a question I really have to think about to answer. Like his dad, he has an amazing breadth of knowledge across different subjects. Like all almost-teenagers, he’s discovering sarcasm, but he’s still so gentle and thoughtful. He’s a leader at school and just an exceptional human. We’re so lucky to spend time with him.

Happy birthday, Skyler! We love you.