I’m not working for the rest of the week, but that required a lot of slogging through Microsoft promotional materials Monday and Tuesday. Which made me realize that some of the accepted business phraseology is (maybe like a lot of business marketing) incredibly stupid. For example:

“Take it to the next level.” What, exactly, does this mean outside of a video game? And do you really want to compare improving your business to Super Mario Brothers?

“Full service.” To my knowledge, this only applies to filling stations before about 1970. “Full service” does not accurately describe any sort of services a business may offer, either.

“Grow your business.” your business This is the one I hate most. You can increaserevenue; you can expand your business offerings; you can even create more profits. But business is not a plant. You can’t grow it.

I just had to vent. I’m going to enjoy not thinking about any sort of business for a few days, and instead think about fabric and demolition derbies.