As I start 39 and 2019, I am not even sure how to feel.
On one hand, I’ve discovered powerlifting. I’ve discovered therapy and anti-anxiety medication. I’ve stopped drinking. I wake up happy, I’m in the best shape of my life, and I’m learning how to be a better daughter, sister, and partner.
On the other, my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer last year. It’s as if the news has tied my family to a train track with no hope of escape. The train is barreling down on us this year.
So instead of a phrase to aspire to or a goal to accomplish, this year’s theme for my life is a promise to myself and my family. If I’ve learned nothing else from therapy and the gym, it’s that things can hurt like hell and you will still survive them. They even stop hurting. Eventually.
We will be ok. We have our tools. We have each other. “And even semi-OK can be a miracle.”