This is a nice one (found on Instagram):
To The Spider In the Crevice/Behind The Toilet Door
i have left you four flies
three are in the freezer next to the joint of beef
the other is wrapped in christmas paper
tied with a pink ribbon
beside the ironing table in the hall
should you need to contact me
in an emergency
the number’s in the book
by the telephone.
p.s. i love you
– Janet Sutherland