Remember the new boots that were coming Wednesday that made life worth living after all? They came. I am wearing them today. I feel like Jane Eyre. Or Captain Jack Sparrow. (I can’t decide if they’re Victorian boots or pirate boots.)

Speaking of Captain Jack Sparrow, here’s a site where you can create a licensed, branded talking pirate email. It’s kinda fun, so visit Dead Man’s Mail. And remember, temporary happiness is just a purchase away.