The “Lists” section of McSweeney’s is always funny but this was awesome, in a music-joke kind of way. I’m sharing the whole list here because I couldn’t pick just one.
TITLES OF BACH CHORALES, AS TRANSLATED BY MY NIECE
AFTER ONE SEMESTER OF GERMAN.
BY NOLAN BONVOULOIR
Valet will ich dir geben
I will give a deer to the valet
Kommt, Seelen, dieser Tag
Come, seals, this day
Wie bist du, Seele
How are you, seal?
Christus, der uns selig macht
Christ, make us a salad
Nun lob mein Seel den Herren
Don’t throw that herring to my seal
Was willst du dich, o meine Seele
What are you gonna do now, O my seal?
Christ lag in Todes Banden
Christ is late to every band rehearsal
Schmücke dich, o liebe Seele
My dear seal, you are such a schmuck