I thought I’d have a relaxing weekend to report, but instead I had to help a friend get a new washing machine in a hurry on Saturday, our plans to hike were snowed out Sunday, and Monday I took Toby to the vet again for his ear, which was a really bad experience all around. (His ear is “just” a hematoma, though; originally they thought they’d need to biopsy it if the lump came back. Small blessings, right?)

So I was a mess by yesterday night. I’m trying to figure out any kind of “self care” beyond the gym or online shopping, but it’s hard. Everything is hard and I just want to call my mom and tell her about all of it.

I was scrolling Instagram yesterday and saw this in the Words of Women account, from Louise Erdrich’s poem “Grief.” It stopped me in my tracks and made me cry again, but then it made me feel better. Of course things are hard; it’s only been a month since Mom died and I’m so worried about Toby. I can give myself some compassion; I can try to take care of myself–as if I were a lost child and we’re trying to get home.