1. This is pretty much the best scathing restaurant review I’ve read, of Guy Fieri’s new restaurant in Times Square, full of utterances like: 

Mr. Fieri not only serves truly horrible-tasting food, an awkward origami of clashing aleatory flavors, but he serves this punishing food emulsified with a bombastic recasting of deep-fried American myth.


When they come, the fries are a sticky supernatural orange simulacrum of a former potato, fried to paralysis.

2. The Rifftrax live Birdemic screening didn’t disappoint. I leave you with “slpnls”: