1. This is right up there with the best McSweeney’s article of all time (Decorative Gourd Season): We Must Create The Shit Machine. It’s an allegory!
The miraculous Shit-Raining Machine, from which there will be NO HOPE OF RELIEF, promises to unlock PREVIOUSLY UNIMAGINABLE AND CURRENTLY VAGUE BENEFITS FOR HUMANKIND, such as:
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- Business things
- Other stuff
- WE MUST CREATE IT
2. Speaking of shittiness, I think of this every time I get an email about a mysterious price “change.” 
3. This is us this morning: We thought the boys might have worms and got their 💩 tested (it’s a theme today!). Turns out they have GIARDIA, so…still a parasite, just a more surprising one. We’ll get them some meds and get them sorted out, though.
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