1. I know it’s satire, but I kind of love “7 Weightlifting Poems That Will Get You Pumped,” if only for the writer’s supreme dedication to the gag. I’m sorry, “Gym Song For Carl Sagan” deserves wider recognition:

Carl Sagan, I am at the Gym.
It has been years since your passing, and I am
Curling weights with magnificent ease.
I’m stronger than I’ve ever been
And the guy at the front desk knows me.

 

2. This is the truest thing I’ve seen in my life:
3. This is a 90s site of 60s lounge music and it’s awesome (via my friend Mike).

 

4. Don’t be like Brian: