DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!

As you read this, I am on my way to CLOSE on my HOUSE that I bought by MYSELF.

Up until yesterday afternoon, I was fully prepared to have everything implode (and then this would have happened), but the closing costs stayed as estimated, the mortgage insurance didn’t increase, and I ordered a cashiers check, the heavens opened, and I could only shout, like Elwood, “The house! The HOUSE!!”

Because YES! YES!! JESUS H. TAP DANCING CHRIST, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!! I’M A HOMEOWNER!!

And god bless the United States of America!