Yesterday a request for someone to recite a poem came up, and I was the kid saying “Pick me! Pick me!”—until I realized the only thing I have memorized in its entirety is “The Owl and the Pussycat.” (I do have big pieces of a lot of real poems, but it just spoils a dramatic recitation to fill in the gaps with “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…something, something…”) So much for being so literary.

But why devote your life to memorizing poems when you can do THIS: You kind of know what you’re getting with a URL like that, but I was still surprised. Especially by the one that uses kerosene-soaked toilet paper.