Green and white cruisers and coffee in mornings;
Baby alpacas and gardens I’m growing;
Sweet little Tobys who sleep in the sheets:
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the thieves strike
with their fake checks
and they take my cash,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don’t feel so bad.

Except when I think that the defrauders walked out of the bank with $850 yet I have to take two days to fix things AND nobody can expedite putting that money back in my account yet. Then I feel bad.

Hmm, maybe that last verse doesn’t work so well…

EDITED TO ADD: After a morning of investigating, it turns out thieves did NOT take my money. There was a teller error–an error that had me freak out, create a new account, and miss work. “Gee, we’re really sorry about that. But at least there’s no fraud!” As my friend Sean says, “For the love of god!”