Tomorrow is the five-year anniversary of losing my mom. I said to Matt earlier this week, trying to rally myself to handle it, “It’s not like she’s going to be more dead on that day,” but it’s still hard. And unbelievable and also at the same time, horribly, normal.

I’ve been going back to the “ball in a box” analogy I saw five years ago. It’s definitely getting more randomized but it doesn’t hurt any less when it hits.