Here’s your life advice for the day: Don’t think about anything embarrassing or accidentally awful that you did for more than seven seconds. Why?

It’s the exact amount of time you need to remember the thing you said, cringe deeply, and then snuff it right out. Poof, gone forever. You know what seven seconds is too short for? Deciding you’re going to write a long apology email right now that will almost certainly embarrass everyone further. Because the thing is, you probably don’t need to do that. Again, sure, sometimes you need to clarify your actions. You’re dumb! We all are. But for the most part, no one is dwelling on the thing you’re dwelling on because they are too busy dwelling on their own personal queasiness they inflicted on someone else. And on and on forever, like a clammy line of dominoes straight to hell.