Today’s my birthday! After 38, when my mom went through chemo and failed surgery, and 39, when we lost her and tried to just keep it together all year, reaching 40 feels like a miracle and absolutely nothing to fear.
Sure, I’m rapidly going gray, but after the last two years it makes sense. I’m still going to the gym and to therapy, I’m still trying to show up and be brave and use my words–and that’s all I’m going to try to keep doing for the year. I was talking to my friend last night about everything else I wanted to do in 2020 and she said, wisely and kindly, “I thought of the first year of my 40s as the warmup.”
So for 2020, my single goal is: “Use my words.” Tell people I love them. Really listen to others. Speak up when something isn’t OK. Talk about my feelings, even though that’s still pretty terrifying.
As I enter another decade, I know objectively that I can do hard things. So I’ll keep doing them, and enjoy being alive and sharing it all with my loved ones.