Remember These?!

There was a post on BoingBoing last week about scary monsters from Sesame Street, and guess who were listed? Those Martian things that said “yip yip yip, uh-huh, uh-huh”! They absolutely terrified me, especially in the episode where they discovered the telephone and mimicked its ringing. The first “Brrrrrrringgg!!!” out of their scary, scary mouths was almost too much.

The post has an awesome quote from someone who was also scared of the Yip Yips: “I found a clip on YouTube and freaked myself out a little. When the phone rang and their lips flew up above their head, I thought about cowering behind my desk chair for a second.”

I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Tuesday Project Roundup: There Is No Project Roundup

No, I didn’t finish a project over the weekend. I’ve discovered vintage patterns but was sadly surprised by how…laconic the instructions are. (If by “instructions,” you mean a step consisting of a picture showing a fabric configuration that has no relationship whatsoever with the fabric you’re holding in your hands, of course. Not that I was frustrated.)

But there’s nothing a little seam binding can’t gloss over, so in the spirit of this post’s title, here’s the Magritte picture of a pipe announcing, “This is not a pipe.”

(He’s right, you know–it’s a painting of a pipe. Oh, those tricky French intellectual painters!)

Tuesday Project Roundup: There Is No Project Roundup

No, I didn’t finish a project over the weekend. I’ve discovered vintage patterns but was sadly surprised by how…laconic the instructions are. (If by “instructions,” you mean a step consisting of a picture showing a fabric configuration that has no relationship whatsoever with the fabric you’re holding in your hands, of course. Not that I was frustrated.)

But there’s nothing a little seam binding can’t gloss over, so in the spirit of this post’s title, here’s the Magritte picture of a pipe announcing, “This is not a pipe.”

(He’s right, you know–it’s a painting of a pipe. Oh, those tricky French intellectual painters!)

A Scary Story, Plus Acceptance

If you couldn’t tell from my jokes about curing cancer with the same amount of effort, I have felt a little guilty about the time and energy I’ve spent sewing. (Knitting, somehow, gets an exception. Knitting is magic and like therapy; therefore, I should probably spend MORE time doing it. I don’t feel guilty about knitting.) People I know play music, are lawyers for the environment, grow gardens, start families, etc. I spend a lot of time making pretty things to wear.

I started sewing at my current rate about February of this year, which is when the Great Financial Turnaround of 2007 began. I gave up credit cards and was left with cash, which didn’t buy what I was used to buying. But cash could buy fabric. Fast forward to today: I’m now the conductor on the Debt Reduction Train and have become the cheapest person I know, announcing when I can find fabric for $2 a yard or get 12 rolls of toilet paper for $5 (at Target this week! Use a coupon!).

Here’s the scary part: Being the Mayor of Get Out of Debt City, I was paying my bills last night and had to look up some old statements. I found one from last year—June 2006–and first I thought, “Oh, the good times when I had credit cards…I remember those times…I loved those times…let’s see what I bought last June..oh…oh…….oh sweet baby Jesus, how much did I spend in June alone?!” And then I tipped over. And then I hid the statement. It was that scary.

Anyway, my point is that since I have lots of time on my hands (and a deep-seated belief that happiness is just another new item away) (yes, I know; that’s an issue for another day), I am so glad I can sew and spend so much time doing it. Because otherwise, I’d be hitting the mean streets of Anthropologie and online shoe stores. And that can get ugly.

Weather!

Last night there was something different from the month of sun and sky we’ve had: wind and clouds! And even some rain! Like just about every other thing, weather makes me think of poetry, and I thought of what Pablo Neruda had to say about it:

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

(From “Every Day You Play,” complete text here. [Warning: terrifying web design.] It’s really a love poem, so if you’re not in love it may make you sad and bitter. Hey, I’m just saying—)

Thoughts about Loooove

From comments on a Gawker post about “wuv, twoo wuv“: Is it really that hopeless to find that one person who you wouldn’t hate yourself for being with?

And from a Pablo Neruda poem (well, not “from”; it’s the whole poem):

Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.

You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars
of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes

The birds go by, feeling.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night
to the sky.

You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the grey light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.
I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

That last line kills me. And while most of us probably won’t have a love affair with a South American poet, is it too much to askIs it really that hopeless to find that one person who you wouldn’t hate yourself for being with?

And what prompted this? 1. I was reading blogs and 2. there was actual weather last night, with wind and thunder, and I thought of

“Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.”

Growing (Plants, Not Business)

My patio garden is hitting its stride and I couldn’t be more tickled. All I do is keep the pots watered, and look what happens:To quote my sister-in-law, “It’s working!” And to quote M.F.K. Fisher: “They did as they were meant to, which is one of the most satisfying things that can happen to a gardener.”

Tuesday Project Roundup: Cheap Edition

This is the time of year for end-of-season sales at the fabric store, which means that if you find pattern on sale, too, you can make a dress for $10. Including the zipper. That’s what I did with this one, made from the Venice fabric. I wore it to the yarn store at lunch yesterday, which was full of knitting ladies, and one of them said, “That dress looks just like Audrey Hepburn.” (I think she meant the dress looked like something Audrey would wear. I took it as a compliment.)

The internet is also a good source for cheap fabric, and if you don’t mind ordering from a place called “Fashion Fabrics Club,” you can get heavy Italian linen in a purple plaid for about $15: Notice the neckline? I was really thrifty and used the same pattern as the Venice dress and just changed the skirt. And notice the pleats under the waistline? Gut pleats. Brilliant. I may never wear pants again.

The one disadvantage to dresses is that 99% of them close in the back. And while I’ve gotten good at zipping myself up, the hook and eye at the top of the zipper–that hits right at the middle of my back on this pattern–had me questioning my decision to live alone this morning. But one must put up with something, I suppose.

11 Things I Did In 5 Days Off

1. Sewed a dress.
2. Sewed another dress.
3. Discovered websites that sell vintage patterns(also called “heroin”).
4. Bought three more patterns and some fabric for more sewing.

5. Learned how to dance like a hippy at the Gallivan Center concert.
6. Saw my high school music teacher leading the marching band in the West Jordan July 4th parade.
7. Watched the West Jordan City fireworks.
8. Washed and waxed my car.
9. Went to the Western Stampede demolition derby.10. Washed my car again because it got rained on at the derby.
11. Ate some nachos.Nachos rule!