1. As I mentioned, I read Under the Banner of Heaven this week, and just…wow. So depressing and creepy and, like a train wreck, oddly fascinating. (And if I had read something about life under Taliban rule, or the early Christian church, I would be saying the same thing. As I said, I hate Illinois Nazis–I mean, religious fanatics.)

2. The Alpaca Owners and Breeders Association National Conference is going on NOW at the South Towne Expo Center. This is how I met alpacas a few years ago–the show is all weekend, there are vendors and exhibits, and there are a bunch of furry camelids inside a convention center. Do you need more reason than that?

3. Despite those compelling reasons I’ll have to miss the show this year, because I will be camping. In the rain. And 34 degree nighttime lows. I told my friend Sean about my plans, and he said, “I’d rather be at the Rainbow Room.” Wouldn’t we all, Sean.