It just gets better, really: My brother was joking that instead of a dog, I should get a Chia Pet. Then, in true brother fashion, he decided no, a Chia Pet was a bad idea because I probably wouldn’t be able to keep even that alive. So I saw him Sunday and he and his wife had found me this:

It’s a PLUSH Chia Pet, one that cannot be killed, no matter what, and will always “grow” and always love me. Its name is “Puppy.” I love Puppy. Sherlock Bowie loves Puppy. Life is grand.